I'm not a marriage counselor but the relationship people have with their vehicles certainly has some similarity with the relationships we have with each other. Depending on how well we understand this relationship can make the difference between loving your vehicle or hating it! If you understand principles of car relationships you may find your other relationships getting better as well. "How so," you ask? The answer is, simple principles. Principles that work with cars as well as people. Understanding these principles brings us closer to being happily married with our vehicle and though written in a manner that may sound ridiculous, you will find these principles work.

If you are currently happy with your vehicle the principle for you is: be thankful for it, this makes it much easier to handle glitches when they come. Remember to make a mental note as to what things you like about your vehicle. Take opportunity in a car conversation to tell someone what you think is best and why you would recommend it to someone else. What happens when we do this is that when something does go wrong with the car, be it a flat tire or a transmission job, we have a full emotional gas tank to operate from and we don't take out our problems on the AMA guy when he shows up because we are also on empty.

What if your vehicle is giving you troubles? It may be older, maybe a lemon, maybe just needs some service. Principle one still applies, but principle two kicks in. Know your options! The automotive world is full of examples of people not exploring all their options and then paying for it - sometimes expensively. Examples of this, range from not knowing of certain features that you might really like, to looking at the cost of repairing something again and again verses the cost of purchasing another. Understanding what finance options are available and how many places exist for buying and selling vehicles should also be considered.

Many people don't realize how many options are available to them for a number of reasons. First is that often people are out of the marketplace for six or more years. The last vehicle owned may have (or may not have) air bags let alone second generation bags, "smart" bags, ABS, traction control, self sealing tires, entertainment centers with video and CD, power sliding doors, reverse sensor systems, power adjustable pedals and alternative fuels like electricity, natural gas (or regular fuel)!

Now you may think that this is a variety of options pulled from all over the auto world but no, these are only a partial listing of options available, let alone what is available through the many other manufacturers. If you have not been shopping for a vehicle recently but are thinking about it, you need to have some fun getting out and looking.

Another reason people do not know the options available to them, is poor communication skills and expectations.

Imagine this: a car shopper sees a sales person and fear of being pushed makes "Hi, my name is Joe. How may I help you?" sound like "Hello, I am Dracula where can I bite you?" This mindset makes the whole shopping experience become a nightmare right from the start. Consider that you may be looking to spend $2000 to $72,000 on your next vehicle, what do you really know about this vehicle? What do you know about the manufacturer? What do you know about the dealership where you are thinking of buying it? The person everyone loves to hate (a salesman) may be a great source of information! They are free services, so pick their brains and insist that they give you a presentation of the vehicle you are looking at and take them with you on the demonstration to answer any questions!

Why? Since you're spending dollars and years paying for this thing you have an obligation to know information and they are obligated to tell you information.

Principle number three is: Know what a reliable source is and isn't. It's hard to ask a liar whether or not he/she is telling the truth (so don't). I'm not slicing anyone here, but one needs to have a healthy respect for collecting accurate information.

Some things a sales person can tell you and you can believe are for example the specific options available on a unit and how they work, how they may be of benefit to you and various options available to you for financing through their organization.

These things are all factual. Those things that are opinions and subject to being biased are also the responsibility of the buyer to know. Areas like reliability, popularity, safety of a certain vehicle etc., or to what balance the seller is working for you verses for himself (the sort of deal you are getting, and the true value of your trade-in) are your responsibility to find out independently.

Going back to a dealer and telling them that they sure took you to the cleaner is the same as telling them "I'm sure dumb because I don't shop around."

It's smart to understand how dumb it is to be spending thousands of borrowed dollars and not shop around. I recommend picking up a Consumer Report and seeing what they say about the vehicle you are looking at or reading (relatively unbiased) articles like Back Seat Driver.